The pressures of managing our finances were taking their toll, and in what seemed like an instant, I abandoned my normal stance of 'God will provide' and allowed fear and worry to take over.
Sitting at the table, surrounded by paperwork, calculators and pencils my head dropped into my hands and I cried. Never mind that three times in the last 6 months, when our situation had seemed dire, God had provided finances simply out of the blue. No, for some reason, this time it was worse. So much worse that not even God could help.
I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't form a prayer. All I could do was cry, releasing the tension of trying to control the very thing that God had always taken care of.
You know what I love about God? I love that he doesn't treat me as I deserve. He really would have been justified to wait until I realized that I needed to pray and ask for his help.
But my God is not simply just. My God is loving. And my God is in league with my two best allies: Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Jesus died so that I can come right to God - and then he speaks up for me! And the Holy Spirit pinch-hits for me - praying the prayers I'm not able to articulate. I've got a good team on my side, that's for sure.
Back to the 'moment'.
Like I said, it was rather distressing that in midst of a crisis the only thing I could do was to cry and whine.
And do you know how my God responded?
And a lesson.
Within 3 days we received money, out of the blue, equivalent to an entire paycheque.
When the money stopped rolling in, I had one of those 'Ah ha' moments. It came in the form of a bible verse:
Elisha said, "Listen! God's word! The famine is OVER. This time tomorrow food will be plentiful... 2 Kings 7:1a MSG
Super short, right?
Today, God wants to encourage you to beware the lie that today's situation is all that will ever be. He is in control, and there is coming a time where today's struggle will be the compost on which you grow a garden of gratefulness and praise.
So be mindful how you respond to the struggles and you'll have less to confess when God saves the day again.
Focus on finding the opportunity in the struggle. The opportunity to see where God wants to get your attention, where God wants to challenge you to go deeper.
This time tomorrow, your struggle won't look the same.