Filling her shoes,
Canned Peaches
In the beginning, it was just me and Tom. Then I met Mom English. And I realized that being a farmer's wife meant a little more work than wearing a cute top and sitting on the hay wagon with 'She thinks my tractor's sexy' playing in the background.
Did I say 'a little'?... Actually, what I came to understand is that there are no shoes to fill in the farmer mom/wife category.
It's jars.
Lots of them.
Did I say 'a little'?... Actually, what I came to understand is that there are no shoes to fill in the farmer mom/wife category.
It's jars.
Lots of them.
...one jar at a time.
Small section of Mom English's pantry
Farming families, self-sufficiency families, budgeting families and garden-loving families are very busy this time of year. We are busy filling our jars. With anything and everything you can think of.
We pickle just about everything: from cauliflower and string beans to cucumbers and summer squash.
We make large vats of soup, using homegrown potatoes, veggies and meats - then can it in quart jars for mid-winter meals.
Bushels of tomatoes become homemade V8 juice, spaghetti sauce, salsa, chili sauce, pizza sauce and ketchup.
Potatoes are dug, washed, peeled and canned (especially by those of us who don't yet have a root cellar).
Dried beans are soaked overnight, boiled for an hour, then packed in jars, pressure canned, and ready to use.
Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are. Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste, 1825
Cherry Pie Filling
Canning families are the ones who cringe at the thought of going out to eat a number of times a week - why, our husbands ask, would we go out and pay for food shipped thousands of miles when we have homegrown goodness a few steps away?
Disclaimer: I love to go out to eat. Comes from my non-farming roots. Thai, Mexican, Korean, Greek, Japanese, French... I love it all.
What does a canning family's pantry look like?
Well, I snapped some photos for you this week - hope you enjoy them and are inspired to attempt it for your own family.
That's what RosalynPricenglish.com is all about: encouraging you to try new things and enjoy the knowledge that you are capable!
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Disclaimer: I love to go out to eat. Comes from my non-farming roots. Thai, Mexican, Korean, Greek, Japanese, French... I love it all.
What does a canning family's pantry look like?
Well, I snapped some photos for you this week - hope you enjoy them and are inspired to attempt it for your own family.
That's what RosalynPricenglish.com is all about: encouraging you to try new things and enjoy the knowledge that you are capable!
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Laundry Day: Recipes and Lore
Laundry Day
Here and at many of my Amish friends' homes, Monday is laundry day. Blue Monday*, as it came to be called, is evident in the Amish communities that I drive through while on my produce-seeking adventures.
Today, I wanted to share with you some GREAT money savers for the laundry room.
Today, I wanted to share with you some GREAT money savers for the laundry room.
My laundry room has the latest dirt!
Ingredients for homemade laundry detergent
I consider myself to be the luckiest woman alive: my amish grocery store, Stony Ridge Foods, has commercial Tide that they sell in bulk. $5.99 per gallon is nothing to sneeze at. But I have a better deal yet: This laundry detergent costs approximately $2.00 per batch- that's only .05 cents per load!
Recipe: Laundry Detergent
(suitable for all machine types)
1 bar laundry soap, Fels Naptha or Zote work great
1 cup Washing Soda (not baking soda or A&H detergent) 1/2 cup Borax
Essential oil of choice
Yield: 3 cups, 40 loads
Grate the soap, or break it into pieces and process in a small food processor (I love my mini-chopper!) into a fine powder. In a 2-quart jar (super cute on the laundry room shelf), combine the first three ingredients and mix well. Add 22 drops of your favorite essential oil. My favorite is lavender...
Lightly soiled loads will use 1 tbsp. Heavily soiled or large loads will use 2 tablespoons.
This is a great recipe, especially for whites. Borax has a slight bleaching action, so if you're going to use this for colors, just mix it with a cup or two of hot water, let dissolve, then use with cold water. (Note - once a month, run some vinegar through your machine. This will clear out any buildup that may be in the machine.)
Bonus Recipe: Glass Cleaner
LOVE this stuff! Super cheap to make...
1 cup rubbing alcohol
1 cup vinegar (white)
4 cups water
Mix in a spray bottle. I use this all over the house - windows, bathroom, kitchen... It's a wonderful disinfectant as well.
P.S If you are a local reader, Stony Ridge Foods has the cheapest white vinegar, $1.89 gallon..
*Do you know why it's called 'Blue Monday'? Homemakers used to use a product called Bluing that they added to their white laundry. Bluing will take care of the yellow or tannish tint that traditional bleach leaves behind, is non-toxic, and one small bottle lasts about 6 months. If you have little ones and are looking for a low-cost, safe alternative to bleach, here you go!
Recipe: Laundry Detergent
(suitable for all machine types)
1 bar laundry soap, Fels Naptha or Zote work great
1 cup Washing Soda (not baking soda or A&H detergent) 1/2 cup Borax
Essential oil of choice
Yield: 3 cups, 40 loads
Grate the soap, or break it into pieces and process in a small food processor (I love my mini-chopper!) into a fine powder. In a 2-quart jar (super cute on the laundry room shelf), combine the first three ingredients and mix well. Add 22 drops of your favorite essential oil. My favorite is lavender...
Lightly soiled loads will use 1 tbsp. Heavily soiled or large loads will use 2 tablespoons.
This is a great recipe, especially for whites. Borax has a slight bleaching action, so if you're going to use this for colors, just mix it with a cup or two of hot water, let dissolve, then use with cold water. (Note - once a month, run some vinegar through your machine. This will clear out any buildup that may be in the machine.)
Bonus Recipe: Glass Cleaner
LOVE this stuff! Super cheap to make...
1 cup rubbing alcohol
1 cup vinegar (white)
4 cups water
Mix in a spray bottle. I use this all over the house - windows, bathroom, kitchen... It's a wonderful disinfectant as well.
P.S If you are a local reader, Stony Ridge Foods has the cheapest white vinegar, $1.89 gallon..
*Do you know why it's called 'Blue Monday'? Homemakers used to use a product called Bluing that they added to their white laundry. Bluing will take care of the yellow or tannish tint that traditional bleach leaves behind, is non-toxic, and one small bottle lasts about 6 months. If you have little ones and are looking for a low-cost, safe alternative to bleach, here you go!
Life is about choices: remove your shoes, or mop.
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Farm Life, Ocean Style: Big Boats
Lobster Boat, Bristol, Rhode Island
My great uncle was a farmer, of sorts. Every day he'd head down to his 'field' and return later that evening with a crop of... lobster. Fish. Clams. Quahogs. Little Necks. Scallops.
At my Uncle Shelly's seaside cottage, there was a lobster claw on the window sill that was larger than my arm.
Farming, to a New England fishing family like us, meant lots of seafood. Even the children had a crop to bring in. My cousins and I would play in the water, watching through our snorkel masks at the huge spider crabs that crawled along the bottom, prying mussels off of rocks, and smashing them for the seagulls (that was before anyone actually ATE them). We'd collect pans of periwinkle snails that our mothers would steam. We'd pick out the meat with bent safety pins.
At my Uncle Shelly's seaside cottage, there was a lobster claw on the window sill that was larger than my arm.
Farming, to a New England fishing family like us, meant lots of seafood. Even the children had a crop to bring in. My cousins and I would play in the water, watching through our snorkel masks at the huge spider crabs that crawled along the bottom, prying mussels off of rocks, and smashing them for the seagulls (that was before anyone actually ATE them). We'd collect pans of periwinkle snails that our mothers would steam. We'd pick out the meat with bent safety pins.
Nothing was wasted, not even fish heads.
Bristol, Rhode Island
My mother, or one of the aunts, would clean the fish and into a pot all the heads would go. Even as a child, I couldn't eat tapioca pudding. I'd seen real fish-eyes floating in soup and I wasn't taking any chances. Fish-head soup was delectable... The eyes, not so much.
Our farm life these days doesn't include fish eyes or snails, but we do raise 100% of the meat we eat. I don't lay on my stomach watching spider crabs crawl by, I do spend quite a bit of time sending Fanny to herd the hens out of the gardens.
And while Massey Ferguson and Ford tractors are an everday part of my life now, THESE big beauties are the 'tractors' of my childhood.
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Our farm life these days doesn't include fish eyes or snails, but we do raise 100% of the meat we eat. I don't lay on my stomach watching spider crabs crawl by, I do spend quite a bit of time sending Fanny to herd the hens out of the gardens.
And while Massey Ferguson and Ford tractors are an everday part of my life now, THESE big beauties are the 'tractors' of my childhood.
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Everyday Life...
Bob & Benjie
June 30, 2011"A buddy at work has some chickens that need a home." Tom stated walking in the door on Monday.
Having just gotten rid of two sheep and ten chickens, I'll be honest with you, it wasn't news that made me fell all warm and fuzzy inside.
"The neighbors are complaining and they're going to get fined if he can't find them a home."
I sighed.
Visions of chickens being thrown over a bridge in some remote location flashed through my mind.
"Whatever you want to do is fine with me, honey." Then I met them. Yes, those are real chickens. The fluffy headed chicken is a Polish Crested hen and the fancy tailed rooster is a bantam. I asked Trey what their names were. He thought a minute and picked up Miss Fluffy Head.
Having just gotten rid of two sheep and ten chickens, I'll be honest with you, it wasn't news that made me fell all warm and fuzzy inside.
"The neighbors are complaining and they're going to get fined if he can't find them a home."
I sighed.
Visions of chickens being thrown over a bridge in some remote location flashed through my mind.
"Whatever you want to do is fine with me, honey." Then I met them. Yes, those are real chickens. The fluffy headed chicken is a Polish Crested hen and the fancy tailed rooster is a bantam. I asked Trey what their names were. He thought a minute and picked up Miss Fluffy Head.
Bob loves to be held. Trey may cure her of that...
"This," he declared, "is Bob."
I guess he figures that such a fancy diva needs a normal, ho hum name.
"How about the rooster?" I asked him. He had to really think about it.
"Benjie," he stated firmly.
So, I introduce you to the two newest members of our menagerie: Benjie and Bob.
I guess he figures that such a fancy diva needs a normal, ho hum name.
"How about the rooster?" I asked him. He had to really think about it.
"Benjie," he stated firmly.
So, I introduce you to the two newest members of our menagerie: Benjie and Bob.
June 21, 2011
"They have to go!"
My mother chuckled on her end of the phone.
"No, seriously," I whined. "The noise is just killing me! I'm so embarrassed - we ran into a neighbor today and they asked if we have goats. They live a half mile away!"
Henry and George, our meat lambs, were the hot topics of our conversation. As usual, a winter of being stuck in the house had produced enormous amounts of optimism regarding what I can realistically accomplish. This year I doubled our homestead meat and egg production and quickly realized I had bitten off way more than I could chew. *snicker*
I call it 'Course Correction'. Over the years I have learned that life is not about finding what we want to do, so much as it is realizing what we don't want to do. Me, I like raising our own meat. It's a great addition to our income, and it means I can stay home with Trey. My course correction this year was realizing that I just can't do it for other people.
I appreciate lessons in course correction. It's not about failure or success - it's about compiling data and making a logical decision.
Summer tends to be a time of getting out there and doing...well, too much. I hope you can take a minute to compile some data of your own, and realize that sitting on the couch for a few hours a week reading a book isn't necessarily wasted time. Neither is the time your kids spend out in the yard doing 'nothing'.
And really, raising enough meat to feed ONE family is quite a feat - I guess I can be content with that.
June 10, 2011
Our first night in the camper. The weather was predicting storms and I was hoping the new roof paint and silicone around the vents would hold.
Night 1
9:00 PM - We're snuggled in our beds. Trey is enjoying his huge oversized twin bed. I am curled up against the wall. Tom is on the outside. What fun! This feels so cozy.
9:30 PM - I have to go to the bathroom. Climb over Tom, bang knee on side of Trey's bed. Step on Fanny sleeping in the walkway. Make my way through the dark to the closet...I mean bathroom. Climbing back over Tom, I knock my head on the shelf above the bed.
10:00 PM - Trey is finally sleeping. So is Tom. I am wide awake, listening to the sound of the wind in the trees.
11:00 PM - Still awake. Every joint aches. Just realized that in leaving the windows open to enjoy the cool night air, the camper is now damp. Didn't get curtains up yet. I cough.
Midnight - Trey sits bolt upright in bed yelling, "Daddy, Daddy! I need you! Help!" Tom shoots up off the bed in response. Both look around in surprise at all the noise and then fall back, dead asleep.
1:00 AM - Really? This is supposed to be fun? The mattress is so thin it feels like I am sleeping on a rock. I am in pain. As soon as I doze off, whichever body part is being poked into the mattress sends shooting pain through my body.
2:00 AM - Maybe. Not sure what time it is. All I know is that it's raining. Hard. On this thin aluminum roof. I can hear the trees. Wonder which one is going to fall on us first?
3:45 AM - Biggest crack of thunder I've ever heard. Tom and I sit straight up, scared the dickens out of us. Oh well, it's not like I was sleeping or anything.
4:30 AM (or so) - Tom pushes me further into the wall. The vent is dripping on him. Uh huh. Didn't see THAT coming, did you?
5:45 AM - Trey wakes up. All excited to be in the camper trailer with Tom and I. "What do you think?" I ask Tom. "Maybe we should sleep at home tonight...?" "Hell, no!" he replies. "We bought it and we're going to use it. If it kills us."
"If"?...
Night 2
8:00 PM - Remake the bed. A second foam mattress (6 inch, high density), a new mattress topper, new pillows, a soft velour blanket. New curtains up on windows to keep out night air.
9:00 PM - Snuggle into my pillows, sinking into the soft, cushy mattress, on the outside of the bed.
9:30 PM - Asleep. Ahhh. I love camping!
6/8/2011
Time to raise my expectations. Expectations are a tricky business. We set expectations based on past experiences. When people hurt us, we begin to expect it from them(and others). When people are kind to us, we expect them to continue to be kind. An expectation puts the burden on someone, and me, that there will be continuity, stability, lack of change. An expectation boxes us, and someone else, in. We put a fence around them and label them. Our expectations can keep us from the very people God wants to use in our life.
This morning I opened my bible to Acts. I don't read Acts very often. Not sure why, it's just not where I end up. But I did this morning, and I read the story of how Paul (then Saul) met Jesus. And I was reminded again of the trickery of expectations. See, Paul was a bad man. I mean, he was every Christian's worse nightmare. He was hurting people. Families. People were dying because of him.
Then Paul met Jesus. And he turned his life around. But there were these pesky expectations to live up to. Expectations that other people had of him. His first mentor, Ananias, argued with God about God's decision to use Paul. Paul was no good, dangerous, hurtful. Ananias didn't trust him, and couldn't believe that God would!
I love how Eugene Peterson challenges the reader of this story (Acts 9:1-19). He writes:
"Look around you -- look at the person you think is least likely to be your ally as you seek to serve God. Look at the person from whom you, with good reason, expect the worst. Now listen to the word of God about that person: "I have picked him (or her) as my personal representative."
"It's now a story about what God can do with the person I think is beyond God's grace [ability to use]. It's the Word of God that raises my expectations about the person from who I expect nothing but the worst." (E. Peterson, Conversations Bible, p1697)
So those expectations. . . Those expectations of mine need to get raised. Higher. Higher. Straight up to God's feet. Because God can use anyone for any purpose - whether I understand it or not. Whether I trust it or not. And my expectations could cause me serious issues if I alienate the very person God has designated to be HIS personal representative.
6/1/2011
Strength. Courage. God sent me to the coolest love note this morning. As Trey and I sat on the couch, I started talking to Trey about our bible story for the morning. Joshua's name popped into my head, and I started reading. Here are the excerpts that He sent my eyes to:
" I'll be with you, I won't give up on you; I won't leave you.
Strength! Courage! Give it everything you have, heart and soul.
Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get where you're going. And don't for a minute let this Book [bible]...be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it.
Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take."
(Joshua 1:6 -9 MSG)
My heart is heavy these days, but I am choosing to trust that if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, walking in the direction God is sending me that I'll get where He is sending me.
5/27/2011
The plus-side to not having internet is that I get a lot more projects completed. The down-side to not having phone service is that I miss adult conversations. The other plus-sides are that I find myself talking to God more (As in talking aloud. Trey thinks I've gone nuts) and I have more time to read...
I have three books I'm reading simultaneously these days. Developing Intimacy with God, by Alex Aronis is by far the most challenging of the three. My ministry mentor, Nina Roesner, recommended that I read it. She's a truth-speaker with a capital T, and frankly, sometimes she scares me. But as I work through this book, I can see where her courage and strength come from. It's deep. Super deep. I'm brought into the presence of God every time I do a lesson. For me, I find that the D.I.G book, as I call it in my journal, is THE go-to book for learning how to be quiet and listen to the Holy Spirit.
The second book I'm reading is Real Moms...Real Jesus by Jill Savage. It's a great book for the 'mom' portion of my life. My sister Rachael gave it to me, and it's just as encouraging and uplifting as she is. I don't know of anyone who mothers more intentionally than my sister. She's my hero and my mothering mentor. Her family is going to Paupau New Guinea next year to serve as missionary support through Friends in Action. For three years. I need to get Skype. She's been in Missouri finishing her degree in International Studies for the past six months. Did I mention that I need Skype?
The third book I'm reading is Good to Great in God's Eyes by Chip Ingram. The Small Group Director at church, Darleen Dunkelberger recommended this book, and I am challenged by every chapter. Darleen thinks big, prays big and has the most humble heart of anyone in church leadership that I've ever met. Her husband passed away suddenly, and rather than slip into a hole of grief (which she certainly would be entitled to do!), she doubled her efforts in making the small group ministry more effective and far-reaching.
Interestingly enough, each book means more to me because of the personal connection I have with the person that recommended it. I am hoping that over time, I will build that type of connection with readers - so that they want to share what I write. I will write because I am called to, but it would be great if people actually read it and found it inspiring.
5/23/2011
Tonight I butchered a rabbit for our dinner. Sounds strange to even write that. Not something I ever pictured myself doing. At one point in the process I had a split second where I considered getting grossed out. I discarded the thought before it actually finished forming, and completed the task.
Lately, I've been hounded by a situation that I have been unwilling to give up. I replay it over and over in my mind. I've 'let it go' a million times, only to think about again as soon as I get a quiet moment.
When I was dispatching the rabbit tonight, I realized that I have a skill - the skill of setting my mind, resolve. A skill is a "learned capacity to carry out pre-determined results often with minimum outlay of time, energy or both".
'Learned capacity'? I'm again at a point of 'Ah Ha': the reason I choose to set my mind may have little to do with a current situation. If I need to develop this 'learned capacity' of setting my resolve, I'm probably going to need it in the future. And the more I actively do it, successful or not, the greater my chances are of getting it right. So it's less about being perfect, and it's more about practicing, over and over and over, to put it back at Jesus' feet when it enters my mind. Chances are pretty good I'm going to need that skill in the future. And if takes a couple of bunnies to learn...
5/18/2011
Sometimes I feel like my life is just one devotional after another. I don't mean to phrase my weeks that way, but sometimes I think God does. In the days following my return from the weekend in NH, I've had really good days and then I've had days that I felt alone, misunderstood and emotionally isolated.
For some reason I never truly considered the ramifications of moving to a new state after building relationships for 30+ years in my hometown/geographical area of New England. Returning to NH for the weekend was so bittersweet. The women I met with have known me for 10+ years - their joy in seeing me completely floored me.
I am so blessed to be living my 'dream' life - God has given me more than I ever thought I deserved or could imagine. The cost of that life is apparent when I return to the people who know my heart. In leaving them again, the tangible loss feels like ripping off my favorite bathrobe or warm, snuggly pajamas.
Each morning so far since my return God has woken me up early, about 30 minutes before Trey would wake up. Each morning I would argue with him - I'm too tired, we can talk later, I stayed up too late... Yada, yada, yada.
Sipping my coffee this morning, I brought my bible over to the table. I wasn't sure if God was even talking to me - another morning of having blown off the quiet time with Him that He offered me - but I opened up my bible to 1 Kings 19. I reread the story of Elijah in the cave, how God came to him and spoke in a quiet voice. 'Please,' I heard the Holy Spirit speak in my heart, 'Don't throw away the time I set aside for us. You need to hear me. You are not alone, but if you won't spend time with me, you'll feel like you are.'
See what I mean? Yes, this stuff really happens to me.
Then I read the devotional that went along with the verses in my Conversations bible. The quote that God put there just for me? "It's easy when we're weary to think of ourselves as alone in fighting the good fight of faith. In our aloneness, which sometimes seems like a cave of abandonment, God comes to us and assures us that we aren't alone." (E. Peterson)
The note at the end of that comment recommended that I read Hebrews 12: 1-3. Again, God sent me a love note: "Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how He did it. Because He never lost sight of where He was headed -- that exhilarating finish in and with God -- He could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. ...When you find yourself flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility He plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your soul!"
I'm shaking my head at myself - really? How do I think this is going to work? I asked God to show me what I need to be more willing to sacrifice in order to know Him, to be closer to Him. The answer is pretty clear: I want your early morning.
Time to say 'Yes, Lord.'
5/13/2011
10 years ago, if someone had told me that my life would look like this, I would have shaken my head in disbelief. "Not me!", protesting with a laugh as I shook my $70.00 haircut-head. "Live on THAT?", as I dug into my Dana Buckman pockets to pull out my bell-and-whistles-cellphone.
Ah, how the mighty have fallen.
Today I came back from a visit to our financial guru, astounded at how much we do on so little. My current grocery budget is less than what I used to pay for my monthly cell phone bill. Our mortgage is less than what I paid in rent. My clothing budget... Well, let's not go there.
What really got my attention though, was the reward.
Two month ago, we felt like it was time to put our money where our faith was. Taking a deep breath, we started putting aside ten percent of each pay-cheque for the local church we attend. I really wasn't sure where it was going to come from, but we did it anyway. Today, our financial guru did some finagling of our budget and out of seemingly thin air, found almost the exact ten percent we are giving every month in free money. I'm past the point of being floored by the blessings of obedience, but I have to admit, I was super excited.
Ah, how the mighty have fallen. Right down into the dirt with my two year old and husband as we plant our onions and potatoes, mulch our cabbage and celery, and water our sweet peppers. Right down to an eye-level view of life at its best.
Its wicked cool, my life.
5/11/2011
My husband Tom and my best friend Donna teamed up to create a Mother's Day gift that blew me away. He gave me three days off from 'life' and she bankrolled my car - and I was able to spend the weekend with her up in NH. Frankly, half the draw in taking this trip was that I would be able to spend two full days in the car. Quiet. Trey is 2 1/2 - the value of that much silence can not be over-exaggerated.
The drive up was beautiful - sunny and warm. Donna's son, who had been staying with us, drove for the ride from Pa to NH. I had eight hours to sit and read. And write. And write. Oh, it was such an inspiring time. I had a copy of a magazine I don't read often, 'O' by Oprah. The January 2011 edition, packed full of great thoughts, encouragement and 'ah ha'. I spent hours writing out ideas and then fleshing them out.
Here are some of my favorite musings from that leg of the trip:
* Success stands solitary, surrounded by the sphere of today.
- Edited from the following quote: "Success cannot be duplicated. Every new endeavor is created out of the quality of the energy you bring to it, and is meant to be its own thing."
* My past prepares me possibilities and creates passion for my life-purpose.
- Edited from: Everything I've ever done prepares me for all that I can do and be.
* My life goal is to live out the truest expression of myself in Jesus, utilizing the tools of compassion, peace, order, strength and emotional evenness.
- Edited from: My goal is to live out the truest expression of myself as a human being.
* The magnitude of the universal force (God) that created the mountains, the trees, the oceans, the skies - loves ME. There is NO FEAR in the space that truth occupies.
* God's purpose for my life is a divine opportunity - I will separate the opportunity from my fear of the risks.
* In Christ, I Conquer.
- Edited from: I will not miss can't. I will do the unthinkable. Can't has no place here. Difficult is doable. Impossible is soon-to-be conquered. Welcome to my world of can.
The ride home went by so quickly, and most of it I spent in silence, asking the Holy Spirit to join me, to speak to me. I returned home feeling rested and relaxed and energized.
It was a wonderful Mother's Day weekend...
"They have to go!"
My mother chuckled on her end of the phone.
"No, seriously," I whined. "The noise is just killing me! I'm so embarrassed - we ran into a neighbor today and they asked if we have goats. They live a half mile away!"
Henry and George, our meat lambs, were the hot topics of our conversation. As usual, a winter of being stuck in the house had produced enormous amounts of optimism regarding what I can realistically accomplish. This year I doubled our homestead meat and egg production and quickly realized I had bitten off way more than I could chew. *snicker*
I call it 'Course Correction'. Over the years I have learned that life is not about finding what we want to do, so much as it is realizing what we don't want to do. Me, I like raising our own meat. It's a great addition to our income, and it means I can stay home with Trey. My course correction this year was realizing that I just can't do it for other people.
I appreciate lessons in course correction. It's not about failure or success - it's about compiling data and making a logical decision.
Summer tends to be a time of getting out there and doing...well, too much. I hope you can take a minute to compile some data of your own, and realize that sitting on the couch for a few hours a week reading a book isn't necessarily wasted time. Neither is the time your kids spend out in the yard doing 'nothing'.
And really, raising enough meat to feed ONE family is quite a feat - I guess I can be content with that.
June 10, 2011
Our first night in the camper. The weather was predicting storms and I was hoping the new roof paint and silicone around the vents would hold.
Night 1
9:00 PM - We're snuggled in our beds. Trey is enjoying his huge oversized twin bed. I am curled up against the wall. Tom is on the outside. What fun! This feels so cozy.
9:30 PM - I have to go to the bathroom. Climb over Tom, bang knee on side of Trey's bed. Step on Fanny sleeping in the walkway. Make my way through the dark to the closet...I mean bathroom. Climbing back over Tom, I knock my head on the shelf above the bed.
10:00 PM - Trey is finally sleeping. So is Tom. I am wide awake, listening to the sound of the wind in the trees.
11:00 PM - Still awake. Every joint aches. Just realized that in leaving the windows open to enjoy the cool night air, the camper is now damp. Didn't get curtains up yet. I cough.
Midnight - Trey sits bolt upright in bed yelling, "Daddy, Daddy! I need you! Help!" Tom shoots up off the bed in response. Both look around in surprise at all the noise and then fall back, dead asleep.
1:00 AM - Really? This is supposed to be fun? The mattress is so thin it feels like I am sleeping on a rock. I am in pain. As soon as I doze off, whichever body part is being poked into the mattress sends shooting pain through my body.
2:00 AM - Maybe. Not sure what time it is. All I know is that it's raining. Hard. On this thin aluminum roof. I can hear the trees. Wonder which one is going to fall on us first?
3:45 AM - Biggest crack of thunder I've ever heard. Tom and I sit straight up, scared the dickens out of us. Oh well, it's not like I was sleeping or anything.
4:30 AM (or so) - Tom pushes me further into the wall. The vent is dripping on him. Uh huh. Didn't see THAT coming, did you?
5:45 AM - Trey wakes up. All excited to be in the camper trailer with Tom and I. "What do you think?" I ask Tom. "Maybe we should sleep at home tonight...?" "Hell, no!" he replies. "We bought it and we're going to use it. If it kills us."
"If"?...
Night 2
8:00 PM - Remake the bed. A second foam mattress (6 inch, high density), a new mattress topper, new pillows, a soft velour blanket. New curtains up on windows to keep out night air.
9:00 PM - Snuggle into my pillows, sinking into the soft, cushy mattress, on the outside of the bed.
9:30 PM - Asleep. Ahhh. I love camping!
6/8/2011
Time to raise my expectations. Expectations are a tricky business. We set expectations based on past experiences. When people hurt us, we begin to expect it from them(and others). When people are kind to us, we expect them to continue to be kind. An expectation puts the burden on someone, and me, that there will be continuity, stability, lack of change. An expectation boxes us, and someone else, in. We put a fence around them and label them. Our expectations can keep us from the very people God wants to use in our life.
This morning I opened my bible to Acts. I don't read Acts very often. Not sure why, it's just not where I end up. But I did this morning, and I read the story of how Paul (then Saul) met Jesus. And I was reminded again of the trickery of expectations. See, Paul was a bad man. I mean, he was every Christian's worse nightmare. He was hurting people. Families. People were dying because of him.
Then Paul met Jesus. And he turned his life around. But there were these pesky expectations to live up to. Expectations that other people had of him. His first mentor, Ananias, argued with God about God's decision to use Paul. Paul was no good, dangerous, hurtful. Ananias didn't trust him, and couldn't believe that God would!
I love how Eugene Peterson challenges the reader of this story (Acts 9:1-19). He writes:
"Look around you -- look at the person you think is least likely to be your ally as you seek to serve God. Look at the person from whom you, with good reason, expect the worst. Now listen to the word of God about that person: "I have picked him (or her) as my personal representative."
"It's now a story about what God can do with the person I think is beyond God's grace [ability to use]. It's the Word of God that raises my expectations about the person from who I expect nothing but the worst." (E. Peterson, Conversations Bible, p1697)
So those expectations. . . Those expectations of mine need to get raised. Higher. Higher. Straight up to God's feet. Because God can use anyone for any purpose - whether I understand it or not. Whether I trust it or not. And my expectations could cause me serious issues if I alienate the very person God has designated to be HIS personal representative.
6/1/2011
Strength. Courage. God sent me to the coolest love note this morning. As Trey and I sat on the couch, I started talking to Trey about our bible story for the morning. Joshua's name popped into my head, and I started reading. Here are the excerpts that He sent my eyes to:
" I'll be with you, I won't give up on you; I won't leave you.
Strength! Courage! Give it everything you have, heart and soul.
Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get where you're going. And don't for a minute let this Book [bible]...be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it.
Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take."
(Joshua 1:6 -9 MSG)
My heart is heavy these days, but I am choosing to trust that if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, walking in the direction God is sending me that I'll get where He is sending me.
5/27/2011
The plus-side to not having internet is that I get a lot more projects completed. The down-side to not having phone service is that I miss adult conversations. The other plus-sides are that I find myself talking to God more (As in talking aloud. Trey thinks I've gone nuts) and I have more time to read...
I have three books I'm reading simultaneously these days. Developing Intimacy with God, by Alex Aronis is by far the most challenging of the three. My ministry mentor, Nina Roesner, recommended that I read it. She's a truth-speaker with a capital T, and frankly, sometimes she scares me. But as I work through this book, I can see where her courage and strength come from. It's deep. Super deep. I'm brought into the presence of God every time I do a lesson. For me, I find that the D.I.G book, as I call it in my journal, is THE go-to book for learning how to be quiet and listen to the Holy Spirit.
The second book I'm reading is Real Moms...Real Jesus by Jill Savage. It's a great book for the 'mom' portion of my life. My sister Rachael gave it to me, and it's just as encouraging and uplifting as she is. I don't know of anyone who mothers more intentionally than my sister. She's my hero and my mothering mentor. Her family is going to Paupau New Guinea next year to serve as missionary support through Friends in Action. For three years. I need to get Skype. She's been in Missouri finishing her degree in International Studies for the past six months. Did I mention that I need Skype?
The third book I'm reading is Good to Great in God's Eyes by Chip Ingram. The Small Group Director at church, Darleen Dunkelberger recommended this book, and I am challenged by every chapter. Darleen thinks big, prays big and has the most humble heart of anyone in church leadership that I've ever met. Her husband passed away suddenly, and rather than slip into a hole of grief (which she certainly would be entitled to do!), she doubled her efforts in making the small group ministry more effective and far-reaching.
Interestingly enough, each book means more to me because of the personal connection I have with the person that recommended it. I am hoping that over time, I will build that type of connection with readers - so that they want to share what I write. I will write because I am called to, but it would be great if people actually read it and found it inspiring.
5/23/2011
Tonight I butchered a rabbit for our dinner. Sounds strange to even write that. Not something I ever pictured myself doing. At one point in the process I had a split second where I considered getting grossed out. I discarded the thought before it actually finished forming, and completed the task.
Lately, I've been hounded by a situation that I have been unwilling to give up. I replay it over and over in my mind. I've 'let it go' a million times, only to think about again as soon as I get a quiet moment.
When I was dispatching the rabbit tonight, I realized that I have a skill - the skill of setting my mind, resolve. A skill is a "learned capacity to carry out pre-determined results often with minimum outlay of time, energy or both".
'Learned capacity'? I'm again at a point of 'Ah Ha': the reason I choose to set my mind may have little to do with a current situation. If I need to develop this 'learned capacity' of setting my resolve, I'm probably going to need it in the future. And the more I actively do it, successful or not, the greater my chances are of getting it right. So it's less about being perfect, and it's more about practicing, over and over and over, to put it back at Jesus' feet when it enters my mind. Chances are pretty good I'm going to need that skill in the future. And if takes a couple of bunnies to learn...
5/18/2011
Sometimes I feel like my life is just one devotional after another. I don't mean to phrase my weeks that way, but sometimes I think God does. In the days following my return from the weekend in NH, I've had really good days and then I've had days that I felt alone, misunderstood and emotionally isolated.
For some reason I never truly considered the ramifications of moving to a new state after building relationships for 30+ years in my hometown/geographical area of New England. Returning to NH for the weekend was so bittersweet. The women I met with have known me for 10+ years - their joy in seeing me completely floored me.
I am so blessed to be living my 'dream' life - God has given me more than I ever thought I deserved or could imagine. The cost of that life is apparent when I return to the people who know my heart. In leaving them again, the tangible loss feels like ripping off my favorite bathrobe or warm, snuggly pajamas.
Each morning so far since my return God has woken me up early, about 30 minutes before Trey would wake up. Each morning I would argue with him - I'm too tired, we can talk later, I stayed up too late... Yada, yada, yada.
Sipping my coffee this morning, I brought my bible over to the table. I wasn't sure if God was even talking to me - another morning of having blown off the quiet time with Him that He offered me - but I opened up my bible to 1 Kings 19. I reread the story of Elijah in the cave, how God came to him and spoke in a quiet voice. 'Please,' I heard the Holy Spirit speak in my heart, 'Don't throw away the time I set aside for us. You need to hear me. You are not alone, but if you won't spend time with me, you'll feel like you are.'
See what I mean? Yes, this stuff really happens to me.
Then I read the devotional that went along with the verses in my Conversations bible. The quote that God put there just for me? "It's easy when we're weary to think of ourselves as alone in fighting the good fight of faith. In our aloneness, which sometimes seems like a cave of abandonment, God comes to us and assures us that we aren't alone." (E. Peterson)
The note at the end of that comment recommended that I read Hebrews 12: 1-3. Again, God sent me a love note: "Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how He did it. Because He never lost sight of where He was headed -- that exhilarating finish in and with God -- He could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. ...When you find yourself flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility He plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your soul!"
I'm shaking my head at myself - really? How do I think this is going to work? I asked God to show me what I need to be more willing to sacrifice in order to know Him, to be closer to Him. The answer is pretty clear: I want your early morning.
Time to say 'Yes, Lord.'
5/13/2011
10 years ago, if someone had told me that my life would look like this, I would have shaken my head in disbelief. "Not me!", protesting with a laugh as I shook my $70.00 haircut-head. "Live on THAT?", as I dug into my Dana Buckman pockets to pull out my bell-and-whistles-cellphone.
Ah, how the mighty have fallen.
Today I came back from a visit to our financial guru, astounded at how much we do on so little. My current grocery budget is less than what I used to pay for my monthly cell phone bill. Our mortgage is less than what I paid in rent. My clothing budget... Well, let's not go there.
What really got my attention though, was the reward.
Two month ago, we felt like it was time to put our money where our faith was. Taking a deep breath, we started putting aside ten percent of each pay-cheque for the local church we attend. I really wasn't sure where it was going to come from, but we did it anyway. Today, our financial guru did some finagling of our budget and out of seemingly thin air, found almost the exact ten percent we are giving every month in free money. I'm past the point of being floored by the blessings of obedience, but I have to admit, I was super excited.
Ah, how the mighty have fallen. Right down into the dirt with my two year old and husband as we plant our onions and potatoes, mulch our cabbage and celery, and water our sweet peppers. Right down to an eye-level view of life at its best.
Its wicked cool, my life.
5/11/2011
My husband Tom and my best friend Donna teamed up to create a Mother's Day gift that blew me away. He gave me three days off from 'life' and she bankrolled my car - and I was able to spend the weekend with her up in NH. Frankly, half the draw in taking this trip was that I would be able to spend two full days in the car. Quiet. Trey is 2 1/2 - the value of that much silence can not be over-exaggerated.
The drive up was beautiful - sunny and warm. Donna's son, who had been staying with us, drove for the ride from Pa to NH. I had eight hours to sit and read. And write. And write. Oh, it was such an inspiring time. I had a copy of a magazine I don't read often, 'O' by Oprah. The January 2011 edition, packed full of great thoughts, encouragement and 'ah ha'. I spent hours writing out ideas and then fleshing them out.
Here are some of my favorite musings from that leg of the trip:
* Success stands solitary, surrounded by the sphere of today.
- Edited from the following quote: "Success cannot be duplicated. Every new endeavor is created out of the quality of the energy you bring to it, and is meant to be its own thing."
* My past prepares me possibilities and creates passion for my life-purpose.
- Edited from: Everything I've ever done prepares me for all that I can do and be.
* My life goal is to live out the truest expression of myself in Jesus, utilizing the tools of compassion, peace, order, strength and emotional evenness.
- Edited from: My goal is to live out the truest expression of myself as a human being.
* The magnitude of the universal force (God) that created the mountains, the trees, the oceans, the skies - loves ME. There is NO FEAR in the space that truth occupies.
* God's purpose for my life is a divine opportunity - I will separate the opportunity from my fear of the risks.
* In Christ, I Conquer.
- Edited from: I will not miss can't. I will do the unthinkable. Can't has no place here. Difficult is doable. Impossible is soon-to-be conquered. Welcome to my world of can.
The ride home went by so quickly, and most of it I spent in silence, asking the Holy Spirit to join me, to speak to me. I returned home feeling rested and relaxed and energized.
It was a wonderful Mother's Day weekend...