On Friday, our son Trey celebrated his third birthday. I am reminded, again, that the plans God has for me are far better than I could ever dream...
Four years ago we had experienced our second miscarriage. I was teetering precariously on an emotional abyss, and my husband was at his wits end to know how to help me.
We decided to take a break from conceiving and I found a job as a trail-guide for a horseback riding outfit. For the summer, I led rides through the gorgeous forest of northern Pennsylvania. Each day I would drive through the quiet back roads to reach the stable. Brushing the horses, leading groups through the woods was the best life-disconnect I have ever experienced.
During that time, my soul healed to the point where I could relax and allow myself to be honest about what I wanted. I was finally able to let go and accept that if we didn't have a child, my husband and I would be okay. I was able to contemplate the possibility of another miscarriage, and realize that if that happened, I would be just fine. I chose to accept that God's plan for my life was better than anything I could conjure up in my mind, and I let go of my plans.
It was following that time of contemplation and release that Tom and I were able to conceive our son. During the pregnancy, on the direction of a midwife who dealt almost solely with the Amish community (on a recommendation from my Amish friend Rebekah), I went on life rest. I did nothing strenuous and reduced my ativities to picking out a new movie on Netflix, and for the first three months of the pregnancy, I sat.
When it came time to welcome Trey into the world, God again provided in a way that far exceeded my expectations. I had wanted a home birth, but my husband just didn't feel safe about it. So I honored him and we went to a hospital.
Since no one at the hospital believed my assertions that I was actually in labor, they administered the medications I had requested and left the room. Thirty minutes later, attended by my husband, mother and a nurse, I delivered Trey with my own hands, just as I had dreamed of. The experience was empowering, inspiring and uplifting. I was given a gift that the majority of modern women rarely experience. It changed me. My confidence blossomed into an assured, peaceful serenity, my heart believing in the truth that God would provide for each situation exactly what was best for me, my family, and His plan for my life.
This is a season of grateful hearts in our home. We look back at the birth of Trey and rejoice at how our lives have been changed.
I look back and relive the gift of the Holy Spirit, the surge of power that continues to enable me to complete the tasks set before me with confidence, courage, strength, and serenity.
I encourage you, dear readers, if you are experiencing hiccups in the plan you have set for your life, to step back, re-evaluate, relinquish and rest - rest in God's power to give you a life that is far better than anything you can imagine.
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