A New Idea

As disagreements go, it went well. Tom and I used our Love and Respect training (I cheated and added my Respect Dare knowledge, stacking the deck ), and managed to keep a conflict from spiraling into an out-of-control fight. Still though, I didn't feel satisfied. 

I was simmering inside, replaying tidbits of the conversation and holding imaginary conversations in my head. 
Of course, I was right in each conversation. 


At some point during our disagreement, I said,  'Nothing I do makes you happy!'  I felt ineffective and useless.  

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That night we sat down and prayed together. My husband talks straight when he talks to God. No 'thees' and 'thous', no fancy words or long, drawn out sermons: 

"God, please give us wisdom. Show us how to see eye to eye and get along."

We opened the Bible and this is the verse that popped out at us: "...those who follow after the Holy Spirit find themselves doing those things that please God. Following after the Holy Spirit leads to life and peace..." Romans 8:5b,6a

And there it is, a simple answer to a simple request. For Tom and I to see eye to eye, we need to be focusing on the same thing -- following after the Holy Spirit. Pleasing God, and no one else. The rest will follow. 

Maybe it's not a new idea; I mean, it's in the Bible, so it's been around for a while... But perhaps it's time for me to start considering that when I grumble about trying to please others, the reason it's so hard is because it's not where my focus should be.