As mothers, we are constantly threatened by the specter of guilt. Another mother bakes cookies with toddlers. Another mother makes handmade Christmas cards every year. Another mother scrubs her bathroom. Every day. Another mother wakes up at 4:30 AM to exercise, read her bible and make a homemade breakfast for her family. Another mother makes her children homemade halloween costumes. We find ourselves feeling guilty. We feel guilty when we take time for ourselves. We feel guilty when we lose our patience, our temper and our car keys. We feel guilty when we open a box of mac-n-cheese or order dinner from Domino's. I wanted to share some really good news with you today. Namely, this truth: "Feeling guilty is a choice." My mother quoted that to me more times than I can remember. As a Christian, she explained, I am freed by the knowledge that feeling guilty does NOT come with the territory of being a mother, a woman or a human being. Romans 8:1-3 has this to say about guilt: Therefore, there is now no condemnation [guilt] for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. (emphasis mine, NIV) Feeling guilty is not from God. When we accept that Jesus has saved our life, and offers us a guilt-free existence, we receive, among so many other gifts, the gift of a life free from guilt. And let me explain - guilt is different from conviction. When the Holy Spirit is speaking truth to your heart and you try to ignore it, you'll feel a sense of pressure and heaviness. That's conviction. I wanted to talk about guilt now, because holidays are coming. And with them come all the comparisons, the expectations and the crazy schedules. And I want to encourage you to explore the concept of guilt versus conviction now, so that when the pressure starts to mount, you can examine the emotions and ask yourself - 'Is this guilt (not from God) or conviction (an indication of necessary course correction)?' Guilt is generally that feeling you get when you compare yourself to others, judge yourself too harshly, or set an unrealistic expectation on your life that is not in line with what God has planned for you. Guilt renders us victims of our surroundings, emotions and relationships. Conviction empowers us to ask God to show us the needed course correction - and when we make the correction, the pressure lifts. Feeling guilty? Let it go. It's not from God, and as a child of God, it's not FOR you. It's a distraction. Brush it off, and if you need to, speak the bible verses aloud. Feeling convicted? Get into your bible and discover what God has to say - he'll provide you with answers. Remember - Feeling guilty is a choice. Just say 'no'. Live free, and breathe easy.
1 Comment
So today I was engaged in a heated conversation with someone I love very much. It was a tough conversation, and I was working hard to keep my emotions in check, praying that I could get my heart across. I breathed an internal 'Jesus, help me!', and like a plane with a banner trailing behind, words started flitting through my mind...
“...the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple...” And as our discussion continued, the fog lifted and an entire section of verses became clear: “The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul. The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.” I didn't lose my temper or my composure. The discussion was difficult, but profitable. The verses played like a sound track in my head, helping me stay focused, respectful, direct, honest and loving. Those verses (Psalm 19: 7,10) echoed in my head long after the conversation was over. And I was grateful, as I have been more and more this year, that I read my bible regularly. I have a few of them. I especially like The Message bible, because while it's not an exact translation, its colloquial style makes the verses and stories easy to understand and apply. I like the 21st Century King James version, and the American Standard Version for memorizing verses and understand literal translation. I'm grateful for websites like Biblegateway.com and Bible.cc and Bible.org for online bible sources. And I use them all, frequently. Because my life flows smoother when I read the bible regularly and fill my mind with the verses. I read my bible, because when I don't know what else to do, it's the perfect background music - filling my thoughts, helping me know what to do, what to say. I read my bible, because when I think I know what to do and I ask God to show me, verses flood my mind that sometimes confirm, and sometimes correct my direction. I read my bible because I trust that the One who created the universe knows a bit more than I do, and I'd like as much of that knowledge in my decision-making as possible. And He wrote a book about it. How's that for ultimate power? I read my bible because I believe that God uses it to talk to my situation. My life. My heart. My family. My pain. My hurt. - and uses it to help me see the bigger picture that if He talks to my situation that lovingly, He wants me to share the hope that we don't have to figure out life all alone. I went back to those verses tonight to see exactly what the entire section has to say. It's exactly what I needed to hear. And THAT is why I read my Bible. The revelation of God is whole and pulls our lives together. The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road. The life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes. God's reputation is twenty-four-carat gold, with a lifetime guarantee. The decisions of Godare accurate down to the nth degree. God's Word is better than a diamond, better than a diamond set between emeralds. You'll like it better than strawberries in spring, better than red, ripe strawberries. Psalm 19:7-10 Message Bible "We just don't have enough people, it looks like we're going to need to take turns volunteering." Wincing at her words, I put the dish towel down and picked up another dirty plate. "Well, I'll be honest, it's not my favorite thing to do, but if we need to..." I finished washing the dish and rinsed it. "Thanks, Rosalyn. Hopefully we'll get this worked out." Our call ended and I looked down at the sink full of dishes. "Why?" I grumbled to God. "Of all the jobs I love to do, why do I have to do the one I just really struggle with?" Getting no answer, I finished the dinner dishes, still growling. Later that night, I looked ahead on the calendar and sighed. Twice in one week! What was God trying to tell me? I sat on the couch and turned to Tom. "So, here's the deal. I need to help with childcare at MoPS, and we have nursery this week at church. Why is this so hard for me?" Tom looked over at me, brow creased. "I just don't know why you hate it so much. I love watching the kids, they're great. And I don't know what God is trying to tell you. Maybe you should ask him." That night, I prayed as I was heading to bed. Opening my bible, I said, "Lord, I really need to hear from you. What am I not getting here? Why am I so frustrated and angry at being asked to do such a simple job?" My bible fell open and I looked at the page. The verses seemed to jump off of the page: "If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that "he's a fiercely jealous lover." And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble." (Proverbs 3:34) So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time." (James 4:4a-8a MSG And I knew. God asking me to care for the children was not his way of punishing me, or disciplining me. He was training me. It may be a job that I don't enjoy, but it wasn't about the job - it was about my heart. I had lost my way, looking with my eyes. I needed to refocus myself, not on the job, but on my heart. Was I so proud that I chose to reject a simple (yet important) job that didn't appeal to me? Would I choose to be willing, to allow God to humble me? Would I respond to the gentle reminder that insisting on my own way pulled me further and further from him? And so I prayed, asking for him to give me a humble, willing heart. And I still do. Because sometimes, it's not about the job he's asking us to do - it's about our attitude, our heart-thoughts, our willful pride versus our humble willingness. Do you have a job that you've been asked to do and you're struggling with having a good attitude? Let's work through it together - how do you get past yourself to the person God wants you to become? Women today are inundated with an incredible amount of information. We receive suggestions and advice from friends, family, coworkers, church family, talk-show hosts and bloggers. With so much to sift through, it can be a challenge to make decisions with confidence.
Over the next three weeks, I will be introducing you to three women who inspire me. The stories of these women: Hannah, Ruth and Esther, have encouraged me to be bold and confident. Today I want to introduce you to Hannah. Hannah is an old testament woman whose story holds nothing back. We're given a glimpse into the life of a woman who struggles with low self-esteem, infertility, jealous family members, bullying, depression, and an eating disorder. (1 Samuel 1:3-7) To top it all off, her husband, a well-meaning man, is simply not able to connect with her struggles or understand her emotional pain. His attempt to help her feel better ('Buck up! You have ME!' Yes, he did say that. Check out verse 8.) simply adds to her difficulties, because now she's received the message that he wants some peace back in the house and she'll just need to be emotional somewhere else. We meet Hannah years into her emotional turmoil, as she hits her lowest low. She can't cry at home, so she does the only other thing she knows to do. She goes to church. In her pain, she loses her decorum, her poise, and simply talks to God. No sacrifice to offer. No priest to stand in and plead for her. Her broken heart gives her the courage to simply come to God himself. (Unheard of in those days.) She challenges God to really consider her situation. “If you'll take a good, hard look at my pain,” she pleads, “If you'll quit neglecting me and go into action for me by giving me a son, I'll give him completely, unreservedly to you.” (1 Samuel 1:11) God's response? He approves of her boldness, and approves her request. He gives her a son. (vs. 20) Then three more sons and two daughters. (Chapter 2:21) Hannah's story has provided me with insight as to how a woman can be bold, and be favored by God:
And God honored her. From what I could see in my reading, each year Hannah would visit her first born son, bring him a new set of clothing, and upon leaving, the priest would bless her and her husband, calling on God to honor her sacrifice by providing her with more children. And He did! THAT is how God feels about bold women. We have the permission, the ability and the mandate to be bold. And we don't have to be 'put together' before we can ask. We don't have to wait for our tears to dry, our weight to come down, our hair to grow out, our kids to straighten up, our husbands to understand, or our pastor to intercede for us. We can go straight to God. Boldly. Are you coming? Enjoying the contented feeling permeating the barnyard, I walked to the house. Breakfast is always a happy time for our menagere. I whistled for the dogs, who just moments before had been playing in the snow just a few feet away. When they didn't immediately appear at my side, I looked up to see their tails disappear over the hill. I was frantic. I criss-crossed our back roads, calling their names, whistling. It was February, cold, and they had a terrible track record of getting lost. After three days of anxiety and sadness, we received a phone call. Someone had found our dogs. When I drove up to the house, my heart was pounding. I truly had begun to believe that we weren't going to see our dogs again. In my heart, I had begun to mourn their loss. When I saw them, I fell to my knees, hugging them, crying. Our dogs are part of our family, they fill a space in my heart. In the moment we were reunited, the only emotion I felt was joy. A few weeks ago I was reading the story of the prodigal son. (Luke 15:11-32) For the first time ever, this jumped out at me: "...while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out and embraced his son and kissed him." The son started to apologize, "... but his father wasn't listening. He was calling to the servants, 'Quick! Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer...We're going to feast! We're going to celebrate!' " (excerpts from Luke 15:20-24 MSG) I thought of the many times that I had gone my own way and refused God's friendship and guidance. In my mind's eye, my return was marked by God's disapproval, hands on his hips, watching me slink up the road, begging for him to take me back. In my mind, my return was met with 'Well, it's about time!'. I began to think about the picture of the father, watching the road, longing for his son to return. How, when he saw his son, he RAN out to meet him. When our hearts finally turn back to God, truly embracing him, when we are truly free from the need to go our own way, God rushes to meet us. We do not complete the long walk home by ourselves. We do not slink up the driveway. When our hearts are thrown over the fence, 100% repentant, he runs to meet us. Our Father completes the long walk with us, beaming as he holds our hand, his arm around our shoulders. He calls for us to be served, cared for, provided for, cleaned up. Before we even arrive home, he is showering us with grace: blessings, comfort, forgiveness and acceptance. By the time we complete our journey home, we are clean - a treasured, adored child. happy to have our dogs home Our journey back to God is joyful - there is no condemnation. The conviction we felt while we were in rebellion is replaced with peace; in our choice to turn back to God, the forgiveness we asked for is granted. He simply rejoices. There is no 'walk of shame', no trial, no recounting of failure or disappointment. That first honest step of repentance is met with grace: mercy, forgiveness, joy and the freedom to join him. Our next steps home are simply joyful declarations of love. God has a heart for the strong-willed individual who chooses Him. Luke 15:7 says "...there's more joy in heaven over one sinner's rescued life than over ninety-nine 'good' people in no need of rescue." Have you ever considered that you bring God JOY when you choose him? I don't want to die! "Rosalyn, this is Mom," my answering machine played back. "I'm calling to give you permission to water your ivy today." One year, I bought an ivy. My mom visited, saved it from death, and then called periodically to tell me I could water it. Otherwise, I would have killed it. In a week. Another year, my mom secured a position for me at the greenhouse she managed. It didn't last long. Every ten minutes I had to run to wash off the dirt. Icky stuff. Knowing my past, I have come to the conclusion that God has a sense of humor. Why else would he have given me the job of being a farmer's wife? And I'm not sure what surprises me more this year: That I enjoy my garden, or that it's still alive. In tracing back how those miracles occurred, aside from divine intervention, I realized that all those years of failure had added up to two important missing ingredients: experience and choosing a positive attitude. And so goes our spiritual lives. For each success, there are a dozen failures. Each failure is a lesson, just as each success reinforces. And my attitude is the water that makes the whole thing take root in my heart. Colossians 1:9-12 reminds me to apply the same concepts to my life. In verse 10, I'm encouraged to keep at it, cultivating my faith, and as I learn how God works, I will learn how to do my work. The verses go on to remind me to check my attitude - am I going at my life (spiritual, family, gardening) with a ' just get it over with' attitude - if so, I'm missing out on the power that God gives me when I choose to have a 'yes, Lord!' attitude. It's through that power that I am given the strength to do the tasks he's set out for me, and He gives endurance and patience to complete the tasks. (Two very necessary gardener character traits.) Lastly, as I become thankful for the success AND the failures, I am aware that all my experiences are used to develop my relationship with God. As my mentor Nina Roesner constantly reminds me, 'Nothing is wasted.' So what does your life-garden look like these days? Faith Life. Farm Life. Garden Life. Child-rearing Life. Work Life. Church Life. Married Life. Single Life. Success, failure - both are necessary to create the experience you'll need for the next round. None of it wasted. Smile, choosing to have a thankful heart. Then watch your life bloom. “Momma, you done yet?” Trey tugged at my sleeve. “No, honey. We're still eating breakfast. You can either sit here with us or get down and play.” Trey looked around Alice's Diner, familiar from our vacation the year before, not familiar enough to feel like our hometown diner. He wanted to explore, but wasn't sure about venturing off on his own. He tried a different tack. “Dad, you get down now?” “No, Trey. I'm still eating too.” Seeing the frustration on Trey's face, I finally said, “Trey, are you afraid of walking around where you can't see us?” Behind us, the line of booths offered a maze of fun, but obscured Trey's view of us. Nodding, Trey looked at me. “Honey, what do we say when we're afraid of something?” Trey cocked his head to one side and thought for a moment. Pointing his finger he said firmly, “In name of Jesus, GO. A. WAY!" Overcoming fear... Even swans do it! “If you're afraid, honey, you just tell that fear to go away. Momma and Dad are right here, we'll see you.” Trey's face cleared up, and he began to pick his way over to the far end of the restaurant. Facing fear with the faith of a little one and courage backed by knowing that we were watching, he went exploring. Earlier that week, Trey and I had visited the playground with my local Mothers of Preschoolers group. A seven year old girl was playing on the small rock wall, but would get to the top and freeze. Crying, she would call for her mother to come and get her down. “She's afraid to go over the wall,” her mom explained to me. “Every time she gets to the top, she's too afraid to swing her leg over the side. Watching her little sister shimmy up one side and down the other is so frustrating for her! I just don't know how to help her...” Boy, could I empathize with that little girl's fear. Earlier in the year, I had stood by our new pony Sarah's side, crying in frustration at the fear I felt about getting back into the saddle after years of not riding. Walking over to the rock wall, I started to climb it. “You know, Jenny*, I get afraid too.” With each word, I inched my way up to the top of the wall. “Did you know that God doesn't want us to be afraid?” She nodded her head. “And if God doesn't want us to be afraid, then who does want us to feel afraid?” “The devil!”, she stated seriously. “So if God doesn't want us to be afraid, and the devil does, who wins if we don't do the things that make us afraid?” “The devil!”, she agreed. “When I get afraid,” I added from my precarious perch on the top of the rock wall. “I have a bible verse that I use to help me do the thing that scares me. Do you want me to tell you what it is?” Jenny nodded, eyes wide as she watched me climb over the wall and begin my descent. “For God does not give us a spirit of fear,” I said, “but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV) My foot touched the ground and I breathed my own inward sigh of relief. That wall was high! “Your turn,” I said brightly. “Ready?” Jenny began her ascent, saying the bible verse to herself. Her voice grew louder and stronger as she reached the top. Throwing her leg confidently over the side, she began her descent, her mom's hand poised to steady her. She called out firmly, “God has not given us a spirit of fear! But of power. And of Love! And of a SOUND MIND!” Reaching the bottom, she turned to her mom, gave her a huge grin, and ran off to conquer the next playground obstacle. Her mom threw her arms around me. “Thank you! I can never think of what to say when they're afraid. Now I know!” And now YOU know. Something scaring you these days? It could be the prompting the holy spirit, warning you. If you're not sure, pray about it, read your bible and ask a trusted mature friend (You know, the one that doesn't always tell you what you want to hear.) But if you're afaid of something you're supposed to do, ask yourself: who wins if I let fear rule my life? Then throw your leg over that fear, and speak the truth – and move forward with confidence! Courtesy Jill Hollis Photography This summer I have been featuring stories from readers' lives. Today I am awaiting news of a dear friend in the faith, Debbie King. Yesterday we received word that she is reaching the end of her battle with cancer, and is 'ready to go home and be with the Lord'. It is Debbie's own story that is helping me walk this path of grief. I wanted to share a bit of her story, in her words, with you. Debbie writes: "15 years ago I received the call that no parent ever wants to receive. Three of my four children were killed instantly in an auto accident on their way to school. My life changed at that point forever and will never be the same. We went through that week literally being carried by the Lord. As I walked into McLain & Hayes Funeral home that day and saw three caskets lined up across the front of the chapel I knew in my heart that my children were not there but it was merely their bodies in the caskets; they were resting in the arms of Jesus. As Seth’s Aunt began to play “It is well with my Soul” on the piano I knew that ALL was well with my childrens' souls, so therefore all was OK with me. Then as I walked into Noxapater Gym that day and saw three caskets lined up across the front among thousands of flowers and more people than the gym or Noxapater could hold….Great peace came over me as I felt the love pouring out to me & my family. I am not saying the years have been easy. The grief and stress from that traumatic day has, I feel, played a part in my fighting cancer. I fought to live on October 17, 1995… I fought to live January 2007-August 2008 [and again in July 2011]. But if I die tomorrow I know I will be with my Savior and my children. Peace….Yes, sweet peace!! When my head hits my pillow the peace flows because of not what I know but WHO I know. On this side of Glory I’m incomplete and there will always be that part of me missing, but one day soon I will be whole again!" Who has not experienced the pain of loss? At some point in our lives, we will all walk the path of grief. The question is, will we walk it utilizing what we know, or Who we know? Courtesy Jill Hollis Photography Dear Father God, We claim the promise that 'weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning'. (Psalm 30:5b). We ask for your comfort and your peace to be with us, and those families that are right now experiencing the loss of a loved one. We thank you that you are our refuge and strength, a very present help in our times of trouble. (Psalm 46:1) Please help us to support those in grief with compassion, patience, and graciousness. In Jesus' Name, Amen About a month ago, I became aware that I needed to actively choose to release my parents to the path God has for them. I have a close friendship with my parents, and I had just watched them walk through the fire of serious illness. My sadness at not being able to do anything to help was emotionally heavy, hindering me from doing the things God had already called me to do. It was during that time that God revealed to me that nowhere in my purpose did He ask me to take on the responsibility – emotionally or practically – for my parents. He asked me to release them – in my heart – to follow the path He had planned for them. He asked me to focus on His plan for me.
What's your life look like? Do you have people or situations that weigh heavily on your heart, distracting you and sapping your energy and emotional strength? Release is hard. It's not about throwing up our hands and saying, 'Well, fine. You go then. But don't come crying to me later...' Release is the act of stepping back and acknowledging that God's plan is far superior than mine. Release is the decision to follow Jesus' command to stop thinking about the 'other' person, and simply focus on living our purpose, focusing on our friendship with God. “Turning his head, Peter noticed the disciple Jesus loved [John] following right behind. When Peter noticed him, he asked Jesus, “Master, what's going to happen to him?” Jesus said, “If I want him to live until I come again, what's that to you? You – Follow me.” (John 21:22-23) Release puts space around our life, freeing us from the need to please others, from the need to seek others' approval. It creates a buffer zone in which we are solely interested in pleasing God. “Because of that Cross [of Christ's crucifixion], I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns they dictate.”(Gal 6:15) Release is about becoming self-sufficient in our friendship with Jesus, it's the maturity of balancing living alongside others, sharing our experiences, investing our hearts, yet having our relationship with Jesus be our foremost barometer and compass. Actively practicing the art of release frees us to experience life in its spiritual context. Release is not about being 'right', rather, it is viewing our life and the lives of others, through a spiritual lens trained foremost on our friendship with God. Reflection Is there a situation or person in your life that you need to release back to God? Are you worrying constantly, distracted from your purpose? Who benefits from you not fulfilling God's plan for your life? Prayer Holy Spirit, I ask you to join me now. Please open my heart and my mind to those things that I need to release back to God. Dear Jesus, I ask that you soften me, help me to let go of those worries, fears, people and situations that are consuming the energy that needs to be focused on my friendship with You. I choose to release ______________ to the path You have for them, trusting that Your plans are good, far better than anything I could come up with. Thank you God that you are in control. In Jesus' Name, Amen. Courtesy of Marie Prince, Pennsylvania I received this letter from a neighbor who reads the devotional. In trying to maintain her 'voice', I have left it as she wrote it, other than some minor changes to improve the readability. I found it inspiring and encouraging - I hope you do as well! ~ Rosalyn Back in 1989 in the early spring I very lonely. For a young woman who was almost 21, I had no one to share my life and my faith. I had a job but lived at home.
Well, after having a hard time getting someone to date me I thought, 'I am going to pray about this.' I prayed one night and asked God -- “Please God, help me to find a wonderful man that is like me: hard of hearing, willing to go to church with me, and share a life with me.” That June, I saw a man in town with a hearing aids on. I noticed how he was hanging out with the lady I babysat for. I asked her about him, but she didn't know who I was talking about. Then I found out his name was Ray, and again I asked her: “Do you know Ray?” Again she said no. I asked again a week later – I told her he wear hearing aids. “Oh! You mean BUSTER!” She said. I laughed. “Buster? That's a funny nickname...” She jumped out of her chair, “Hey we gotta get you two to meet, He's perfect!” In my mind I was like, 'That's just talk, it'll never happen...' A few day later she called me, “Get down here now, I'm taking you over to meet him.” I was so nervous around men, I just assumed he wouldn't like me. I dressed like a slob, expecting the worst. When I met him we sat down he showed me his new hearing aids he got and then he said he needed to get new boots for work. Of course I invited myself on his shopping trip, but told him I needed to rush home to change clothes. We went to the mall and had pizza and that was our first date. Towards the end of July I invited him to attend church with me but told him, “You don't have to go”. The service was outdoors, and the first time he went he said he really liked the church and our pastor and ask if he could start going with me every Sunday! I was surprised he asked. Then we started to date and that December we got engaged. A few years later we got married outdoors behind our church. I told him how I prayed for someone like him -- he said he was glad I did. It was weird because we never knew each other, even though he lived over the hill from me. I must have rode my bike by his house many time when I was a teen. But he attended a deaf school and I want to a hearing school. That's one great thing about God: How he found love for us to share in our christian life. This month we'll be married for 19 years, together 22 years. When I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go... Song of Solomon 3:4 ASV |
Categories
All
Archives
August 2015
|